Back into the Fray...
This entry will be a little more personal than my normal posts, but it is all relevant to my work. This week I have had heightened anxiety, last night my husband and I held hands as we went to sleep, both anxious about today, for today my husband returns to uni. I know that having a parent study is pretty common these days but that doesn't make it any less difficult. For a bit of background neither hubby or I have any formal education post high school, we have only ever worked in retail or hospitality (how we met) and that was fine for a time, but soon after our daughter was born we both realised the limits of long-term income and also both started craving a different career. Since I was still in my child-rearing years (I struggle to work or study whilst pregnant or with children under 2) hubby is the first to attend uni.
Last year was his first year and was much harder than either of us expected, we did not expect the workload to be so huge and we also underestimated how difficult have two children would be, particularly since it as our sons first year of life. Hubby was struggling to work full-time whilst studying full time and ended up dropping to part-time work. Our son was still waking 5+ times a night and boobing like crazy, so going back to work wasn't really a viable option for me, we just had to power through. Last year was hard, we were both overworked and stressed, which lead to much tension, we also shared a work space and only had one computer. This didn't work as it meant I never got to go on the PC for blog entries or photo editing and the sound of the sewing machines was distracting and the voices of his lecturers were grating. It was just a bad setup.
By the end of the year lots of talks were had on how we were going to make this year better. We decided that hubby doing four subjects was too much, so he is only taking on three, this will hopefully reduce his workload on weekends so we can spend more time as a family. I'm also working the days that he needs off for school, which has taken a huge pressure off the household, it also allows me to have some time away from the kids so I don't feel like it's just me and them seven days a week (I love them but they drive me crazy). We have also split the work spaces in two by sectioning off part of our second living room to make a second study. This means that we won't distract each other whilst we're working and have more space each. We also purchased a laptop so we can both get some work done.
The kids are also older, which helps. Amy has matured much more and is so much less tantrumy and very helpful around the house. And Jasper no longer needs to be held 24/7 and is much more independent. I no longer feel the need to offload them onto hubby as soon as he walks through the door. We also now do D&D nights together as we were lacking a joint hobby, this has given us something to talk about that we both can enjoy and engage in (we have separate hobbies). I'm also taking one Friday off work as an RDO whilst the kids are at daycare, this gives me twelve days to myself a year, which is better than the zero I had last year. Hubby is also home this day as a homework day, so it gives us the opportunity to go for lunch or whatever if we feel like it. Lastly, I'm making sure that I schedule events where I get to dress up like a faery and have fun kid-free at least once every three months, as I did nothing for myself last year.
Despite the positive changes, all we have to compare the uni year too is last year, hence the anxiety, but I am positive that we will have a better year, and when he has finished uni and making a better income (and the kids are in school) I will be able to dedicate myself to my art career, something that he would not be able to support me in if he didn't change careers.
So.. I don't know what this year will bring, hard times are harder with anxiety and depression but I'll just keep swimming and doing what I can and try and see all that I have in life to be grateful for.
Last year was his first year and was much harder than either of us expected, we did not expect the workload to be so huge and we also underestimated how difficult have two children would be, particularly since it as our sons first year of life. Hubby was struggling to work full-time whilst studying full time and ended up dropping to part-time work. Our son was still waking 5+ times a night and boobing like crazy, so going back to work wasn't really a viable option for me, we just had to power through. Last year was hard, we were both overworked and stressed, which lead to much tension, we also shared a work space and only had one computer. This didn't work as it meant I never got to go on the PC for blog entries or photo editing and the sound of the sewing machines was distracting and the voices of his lecturers were grating. It was just a bad setup.
By the end of the year lots of talks were had on how we were going to make this year better. We decided that hubby doing four subjects was too much, so he is only taking on three, this will hopefully reduce his workload on weekends so we can spend more time as a family. I'm also working the days that he needs off for school, which has taken a huge pressure off the household, it also allows me to have some time away from the kids so I don't feel like it's just me and them seven days a week (I love them but they drive me crazy). We have also split the work spaces in two by sectioning off part of our second living room to make a second study. This means that we won't distract each other whilst we're working and have more space each. We also purchased a laptop so we can both get some work done.
The kids are also older, which helps. Amy has matured much more and is so much less tantrumy and very helpful around the house. And Jasper no longer needs to be held 24/7 and is much more independent. I no longer feel the need to offload them onto hubby as soon as he walks through the door. We also now do D&D nights together as we were lacking a joint hobby, this has given us something to talk about that we both can enjoy and engage in (we have separate hobbies). I'm also taking one Friday off work as an RDO whilst the kids are at daycare, this gives me twelve days to myself a year, which is better than the zero I had last year. Hubby is also home this day as a homework day, so it gives us the opportunity to go for lunch or whatever if we feel like it. Lastly, I'm making sure that I schedule events where I get to dress up like a faery and have fun kid-free at least once every three months, as I did nothing for myself last year.
Despite the positive changes, all we have to compare the uni year too is last year, hence the anxiety, but I am positive that we will have a better year, and when he has finished uni and making a better income (and the kids are in school) I will be able to dedicate myself to my art career, something that he would not be able to support me in if he didn't change careers.
So.. I don't know what this year will bring, hard times are harder with anxiety and depression but I'll just keep swimming and doing what I can and try and see all that I have in life to be grateful for.
Just wanted to let you know I absolutely adore your blog. I stumbled across it while trying to decide if I should purchase one of Constance Hall's Mum Tum skirts. I too am in Melbourne and would love to attend the Melbourne Faery Rade. Hoping to convince my sister in law to come with me to the next one 😀
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